Movie trailers - 2024 weeks 9 to 12
It’s been another month, let’s run down a bunch of trailers. I’m not going to bother linking each movie if I’m not interested, you can search for them yourself if you’d like. Again, using the Rotten Tomatoes trailer compilations.
- Strangers - bad horror, nope
- The Bikeriders - story (fictional?) of the start of motorcycle clubs/gangs, nope
- Horizon: An American Saga - Ah yes, the Old West during the US civil war with a mostly white cast with a few Native American folks thrown in and from what I can see zero Black actors, what could go wrong - oh hell no
- Ghostbusters: Frozen Empire - I usually find almost the entire cast of this movie annoying, but I will almost certainly watch it anyway because Ghostbusters (though I still need to watch the last one)
- I Saw the TV Glow - looks like the visual style and effects would give me a migraine, no
- Kung Fu Panda 4 - no, just stop making them
- Don’t Tell Mom the Babysitter’s Dead - there’s barely enough in this teaser to make a decision, but no
- The Watchers - this is the type of sci-fi thriller movie I might look at, but the visual style seems annoying, looks very over-produced
- In the Land of Saints and Sinners - Liam Neeson as a retired hitman in Ireland, pointless violence, nope
- Musica - also seems like a headache movie, also just don’t care about the premise, nope
- The Beautiful Game - seems super problematic, nope
- Snack Shack - just looks bad, who is this for? nope
- The Lionheart - sorry that F1 guy died, but racing is not my fetish and it seems it really is for the intended audience here, nope
- The Bloody Hundredth - American military propaganda (WWII flavour), nope
So… not a great week there, let’s see how the next one goes.
- Inside Out 2 - Wasn’t interested in the first one, still not interested in this one, nope
- The Garfield Movie - Who wanted this, no
- The Wild Robot - this looks cute, I’ll check it out
- The Idea of You - Romantic fluff, no
- Late Night with the Devil - Weird retro horror, no
- Acadian - Alien invasion survivilist horror, no
- Blood for Dust - Retro Fargo-esthetic crime movie, no
- Thelma - super short teaser for extremely old person action movie, nope
- 5Lbs of Pressure - ex-con trying to do the right thing for his kid (copaganda), nope
- LaRoy, Texas - Another hitman mixup movie, the style looked interesting, but nope
- Parachute - Seems like a good Gen Z relationships movie, but I am not the audience for it
- Hard Miles - Kind white guy helps juvenile offenders with bikes (copaganda), nope
- Strictly Confidential - Badly acted murder mystery softcore porn? lol wut no
- Stormy - I’m glad Stormy Daniels’ story is being told, but no
- Taking Venice - Documentary about the US interfering in a Venitian art exhibition in the 1960s - not generally a fan of cold war US stuff, but this story seems interesting, it’s a maybe
- Frida - Not really interested in dramatizations about Frida Kahlo, but this documentary framing her life in her words and art at least based on hers looks interesting, yes
- The Old Oak - Story about refugees in a poor British town, doesn’t look bad but not interesting to me
- Dusk for a Hitman - French Canadian hitman movie, still no
- YOLO - Asian womens boxing comedy? No?
- Infested - French horror movie about huge attacking spiders, just looks bad, no
- Exhuma - Korean horror, looks pretty well done, but no
- Yuni - Indonesian coming of age story, also looks well done, but also no
Alright, another not great week, but let’s keep on trucking…
- Godzilla x Kong: The New Empire - these movies have been getting increasingly wild and stupid, but I might watch this at some point
- The Crow - I’m a huge fan of the 1994 original, and I’ve even watched one or two of the really bad sequels, so I will definitely be watching this if for no other reason to give detailed explanations for why it’s not as good as the original
- Atlas - Sci-fi, J-Lo, Simu Liu, robots – let’s go, yes
- The First Omen - meh, I’ve never been that interested in The Omen movies even though they’re not really that scary, probably all the religious crap - pass
- Poolman - I’m glad Chris Pine got to make this, but I will absolutely not be watching it
- The Greatest Hits - An interesting idea about time travel, but girl just go to therapy - no
- Ezra - I worry about this one being problematic for the Autistic community despite the best intentions and even good sounding actions of the people making it – but regardless I won’t be watching it because it’s not the type of movie I enjoy
- Wildcat - Looks weird, and maybe good weird, but it’s not something I’m interested in - no
- Breathe - post-apocalyptic “the air is bad” movie - meh, the trailer didn’t hook me, probably not
- The Listener - movie about the experiences of a phone/online therapist/crisis line worker? that’s the whole concept. maybe someone wants to watch this but I am not them
- Just the Two of Us - Someday the French will stop making movies that are just about abusive romantic relationships, but today is not that day - hell no
- Sweet Dreams - about Dutch colonizers on an Indonesian sugar plantation and mayhem ensuing when the owner leaves his estate to his illegitimate son with the Indonesian housemaid. I’m really torn about this one, it looks weird and maybe interesting, but if the colonizers are still on top at the end I’m going to be pissed
A couple of interesting movies there, let’s see what the last one for this post holds…
- Alien: Romulus - A new Alien movie, ok now we’re talking, yes obviously
- Beetlejuice Beetlejuice - Oh, I’m sorry, a new Beetlejuice movie with Michael Keaton and Winona Ryder and Catherine O’Hara but also Jenna Ortega? Yes please!
- Rebel Moon: Part 2 - The Scargiver - listen, I know this movie is targeted at me, but the first one was so bad I don’t think I can do it, and plus I think all the cool scenes were in the trailer… but that Anthony Hopkins-voiced war robot pacifist though, I really want to know what he does… maybe I’ll just read the plot summary after it comes out and decide if it’s worth watching
- Furiosa: A Mad Max Saga - I feel like this is going to be bad, and I feel like I’m going to watch it anyway in case it’s not
- Monkey Man - Dev Patel being a full on Asian-style badass, written and directed and produced by Dev Patel - let’s fucking go
- The Fall Guy - You may just look at this and see a Ryan Gosling/Emily Blunt action comedy, but also if you are a certain age you look at this and say oh shit this is based on the early 80s tv show of the same name starring Lee Majors and Heather Thomas which was pretty bad and definitely super problematic but still part of your childhood… if that’s you then like me you have to watch it anyway
- Immaculate - I guess it’s horror but the whole trailer is Sydney Sweeney screaming with text reviews of the movie being shown, none of which is selling me on watching this. So I won’t.
- In A Violent Nature - monster horror? weird goopy guy? I dunno, it’s a no for me
- Spider-Man - Back in Theaters - I guess it’s cool they’re re-releasing some (but not all?) of the Spider-Man movies in theatres, but it’s not going to get me back in there to watch them
- Harold and the Purple Crayon - I’m calling this a kids movie even though I’m not sure if it thinks it is, and so no
- Humane - Post-apocalyptic movie about the impact of a system to cope with dwindling resources after environmental collapse – interesting premise, but a bit too close to home to be fun, no
- The Absence of Eden - ICE copaganda - no
- Damaged - catching a serial killer copaganda, nope
- Uncropped - I really like James Hamilton’s photos, and I’d be interested in a documentary about his art or even a more academic documentary about him, but I have no interest in a fawning New York art scene documentary about him
- The Blue Angels - pure unfiltered US military propaganda - oh hell no
- Light - this movie doesn’t appear to exist on the internet yet (I even searched some of the actors and they don’t have this credited), which is maybe not entirely surprising given it looks pretty low budget, but also it does look kindof interesting - if it eventually shows up streaming somewhere I may watch it
- Someday We’ll Tell Each Other Everything - Look, I don’t care if they’re based on successful books, can we stop making movies about young girls having relationships with much older men? It’s just always bad, we don’t have to keep exploring all the ways it can be bad.
- The Three Musketeers: Milady - today is a day of learning things, I not only found out that there’s a couple of French Three Musketeers movies that look gritty and really great and have an interesting cast, but also that Eva Green is part of that cast and is French (!?) – sooo, yeah, I’ll be watching these
Well, more interesting in this last week, which to be fair is part of what prompted me to actually write a post.